you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
