I'm so fucking centered right now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
