the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
