He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
