i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
