There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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