I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
