I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
