They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
