it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
