I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
