so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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