I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
