I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
