Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize