You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
