We're facebook friends in real life
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
