she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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