"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
