If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
