She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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