Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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