Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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