WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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