My nipple is on Facebook.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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