:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
