I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months