if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.