That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
