PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
