I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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