Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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