i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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