So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
