That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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