used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
