just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
