Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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