Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
