Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
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