Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
