Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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