Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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