Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
