And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
