I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
