i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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