i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
