OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
