Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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