i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
