Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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