Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
