I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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