suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Someone signed my nipple.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
