i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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