I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
