He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
