you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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