ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
