he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
