im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize