I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize