More tranny stories later!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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