dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
