I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
