can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
