Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
