Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
