Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
