so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
