Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
